Woman accuses parents of clear favoritism when visiting for Sunday lunches, she is always tasked with cooking and cleaning, while her older brother avoids helping and is never called out for his laziness: 'He goes straight to the couch when he gets here'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 9, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

How long can they make up excuses for the men in their family to pick up some slack around the house, especially when, as siblings, they are contributing the exact same amount to their family? Yet, every Sunday that rolls around, this sister spends the day assisting her mother with cooking and cleaning, whilst her older brother is perched along the couch, as if he's posing for a ancient Roman painting…News flash bro, the grapes are finished, so if he wants more he can get up and drive himself to the gas station down the road, because his sister is done hand-feeding him. 

Toddlers require less work and attention than this middle-aged man, and when his sister finally acknowledges the lack of accountability of his laziness from both him and their parents, their favoritism is evidently clear. God forbid, the golden boy gets his feet sore from walking from the couch to the fridge…It seems like these parents need their delusion bubble popped as a reminder that we are no longer living in the 1800s, perhaps having their daughter stop helping out for one Sunday lunch will prove just how much she contributes, and just how much he doesn't…

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  • Sometimes, the only way to get your parents to recognize their silence is by letting your actions do the talking. Her older brother gets away with acting like a sloth, while she’s running around like Mary Poppins, but news flash, Mary looked after children, and last time we checked, he wasn’t one!


     

  • 01
    Two woman cooking in the kitchen
    via Andrea Piacquadio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for not helping out my mom with Sunday lunch mostly to make a point?

    My brother and I are 3 years apart, he is older. Both of us work, in a relationship, and live away from home, so we are on pretty equal footing.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 03
    The thing is is that I help out my mom a lot when it comes to cooking and cleaning the kitchen afterwards when we have lunches or dinners together.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 04
    I'm always more than happy to help out, I like cooking, of course but it's the fact that I feel like I should because they are my parents and I should help them.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 05
    My brother, well he literally does nothing when we do these meals together. He comes, does a bit of talking with mom and dad, then sits on the couch until the meal is ready.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 06
    He might help bring dishes to and from the kitchen if he is prompted by my SIL but that barely happens. Last week we got back from a week vacation all together,
    via fullmoon_123
  • 07
    where brother sat and worked (when I say work, he was working on his schedule for this coming year, he did not have any pending work for his actual job) on his tablet.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 08
    Literally no help AT ALL. He saw us carrying stuff around, prepping the meals, chopping stuff and just stood there.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 09
    His reaction when it is ever brought up in any kind of way is to laugh it off and make a joke and so no one ever takes it seriously.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 10
    And my mom especially annoys me because she doesn't ever tell him to move his a and help out. Like very rarely have I ever heard her tell him to help out.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 11
    But when it comes to me, immediately once I get to my parents' house she tells me "I need you to do X, Y, Z now". "Help me prep this dish", "Go set the table, clean those dishes, clear the balcony".
    via fullmoon_123
  • 12
    To a point it's fine, because like I said, I don't need to be told to help out, I just do. So many times, I've come to my parents' house and just cooked them lunch unprompted.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 13
    Today we had lunch together and I was actually not really feeling that great so I just helped out with a few dishes and then went to sit down on the couch.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 14
    My mom immediately came to me and asked "why aren't you helping out?" and immediately started telling me I had to this for her for lunch,
    via fullmoon_123
  • 15
    and telling me if I don't help out, we don't get lunch done. I got irritated and answered back that she doesn't ever ask my brother to help out when he comes straight to the couch
    via fullmoon_123
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10551501056
    via minervastudio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    when he gets here for basically free food and it's annoying. My mom says I was being petty but I held my ground and did basically nothing to help out with lunch.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 18
    My mom did leave me alone and made me feel like I am being unreasonable. Whenever I talk about different, sexist expectations for men and women, everyone around me just kind of scoffs and rolls their eyes.
    via fullmoon_123
  • 19
    But how is this not the case? Sure, my mom did leave me to be lazy today but I still feel like I am always expected to help out like it is my obligation
    via fullmoon_123
  • 20
    but my brother comes carrying one dish from the kitchen, and omg he is helping out, how helpful!
    via fullmoon_123
  • 21
    slendermanismydad I would tell my mother I am no longer interested in coming over and she can cater to her son on her own. I actually don't have an answer for why so many women do this to their kids. Lack of modeling? They internalized that women do these jobs? Their own husbands were useless in some fashion so they assumed their sons would be too? My mom and I have talked about this because both of us are baffled by this.
    via slendermanismydad
  • 22
    Parking_Pomelo_3856 Next time Cancel at the last minute to give her the opportunity to understand how worthless your brother. After that show up and leave early - same lesson. Etc
    via Parking_Pomelo_3856
  • 23
    Upstairs_Big4049 Brother is the golden child, that's why he doesn't have to help. NTA
    via Upstairs_Big4049
  • 24
    Casual_Lore • 16h ago Look, you help out because it's the right thing to do. Simple as that. I spend time at my parents house and I help with whatever they need while I'm there and that includes cooking and cleaning up. That's just what you do.
    via Casual_Lore
  • 25
    Sometimes my sister comes to visit and she rarely helps. She sets the table, but mostly just sits around. It has absolutely no effect on what I choose to do. What she does (or doesn't do) is irrelevant to my idea of what's right and my choices.
    via Casual_Lore

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Tags

family drama sibilings brother house mother lazy helpful family-dynamics favoritism no-more-favors offering family helping out adults golden child taking sides children
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